My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Rumble strips road head = magical
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
