Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
