Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
how drunk are you?
Several
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize