there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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