Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
