So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize