she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
