I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Enjoy the penises
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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