I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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