Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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