They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
