This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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