Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
