I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
