i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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