someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
