apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
