Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
