I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
