Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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