Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
