i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize