i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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