He is such a slut. More and more my type.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
