I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize