nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
