So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
