You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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