Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
