You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
