it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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