batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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