i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Everclear isn't food dammit
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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