Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize