do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
