so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
