I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
