Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
