OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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