The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
