im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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