i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
