ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.