..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
