Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
