so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
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He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize