my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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