i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
