I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
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I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.