I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.