Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
