i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
