I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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