we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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