Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
