I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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