"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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