In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
