Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
