Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
